I have to talk about this girl I met about five months ago, let's call her 'Sam' okay?
Sam and I had this amazing connection, we always knew what the other person was feeling and we both wanted the same exact things. To whomever doesn't know, I'm currently serving in the army. That's where I first met Sam.
As I said, we got along great and we had this little "gang" with another girl. Called ourselves The Three Musketeers.
It really caught on, since every other person that knew us, knew we were unbreakable...especially Sam and I.
We always laughed. No matter the situation, time or place.
But then, our friendship went a different way. We met at her house, got drunk and things just happened.
I haven't spoken about this to absolutley anyone. I'm not ashamed in what happened because, it was really fun for the both of us at the time. But, after a while it started to scare me a little bit. What we had, it was getting intense and I wasn't sure of myself at all. She hated that, since she knew what she wanted, me.
When she'd try to talk about it, I'd always change a subject and laugh it off. She didn't compelle it on me but I knew she hated the fact that I'd just run away from my feeings like that.
I normally don't. Run away from my feelings I mean. I'm a very deal-with-it kind of girl. But, this was just a subject that I refused to think about.
We both decided on keeping things to ourselves, Sam was always very respectful of my wishes.
We continued meeting and doing our thing for about two and a half months, until things got messy.
I don't really know what had happened next, maybe it was love?
Love can really mess you up, huh?
Sam and I started fighting, a lot. About the most idiotic things any person could think about. And then...I guess Sam just got sick of it. Of me lying to myself, of me pretending that I didn't know what was going on between us.
So, she texted me one night, saying that she wants nothing to do with me and that I ruined her.
'I ruined her?! Is she serious?' was what went through my head in that exact moment. I broke down crying like a little heartbroken teenage girl, memories from my past friendships flashing in my mind. But then, after a few weeks, I understood why Sam had done what she did. I really did drive the both of us insane. I was so unsure of myself that it made her just give up on me.
I'm not saying what she did was okay or vindicated, because if I was in her place I'd fight for what I love and who I love, not just give it up so quickly. But, that's the thing about me I guess. I really would do a lot of things differently than others. Not that I'm saying that I'm some perfect, role-model of a person that always knows what to do and how to do it, I just have an incredible amount of emotional intelligence that not many people have which allows me to see things in a different light.
I lost a lot of people in my life. And although I didn't exactly know what was going on between Sam and I, I loved where we were, our jokes, our same taste of music even; just those little things.
I became really sad after what Sam did, I felt so unimportant and unloved since Sam always made me feel like I was the most beautiful person ever made. That was my favorite thing about her, her technique to make the person in front of her feel like they were glowing 24/7.
"Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own." -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
I really do believe in this quote because at one point, I really didn't care about my own happiness. I just wanted Sam to be happy. Even if it meant lying to myself.
Never do that, never make someone else believe that your lie is their truth.
Sam and I kept talking after that text she sent me because, it was very hard for me to accept what she did, so I just kept writing her like nothing was wrong, a bit in denial.
Eventually, I had to let Sam go. It was extremly hard but, whoever knows me, knows that I never let myself suffer for too long.
The message I'd like for whoever's reading this to take with him/her is that you should accept who you are. Even if it's not what you thought you'd ever be.
xx, Lylo A.
Sam and I had this amazing connection, we always knew what the other person was feeling and we both wanted the same exact things. To whomever doesn't know, I'm currently serving in the army. That's where I first met Sam.
As I said, we got along great and we had this little "gang" with another girl. Called ourselves The Three Musketeers.
It really caught on, since every other person that knew us, knew we were unbreakable...especially Sam and I.
We always laughed. No matter the situation, time or place.
But then, our friendship went a different way. We met at her house, got drunk and things just happened.
I haven't spoken about this to absolutley anyone. I'm not ashamed in what happened because, it was really fun for the both of us at the time. But, after a while it started to scare me a little bit. What we had, it was getting intense and I wasn't sure of myself at all. She hated that, since she knew what she wanted, me.
When she'd try to talk about it, I'd always change a subject and laugh it off. She didn't compelle it on me but I knew she hated the fact that I'd just run away from my feeings like that.
I normally don't. Run away from my feelings I mean. I'm a very deal-with-it kind of girl. But, this was just a subject that I refused to think about.
We both decided on keeping things to ourselves, Sam was always very respectful of my wishes.
We continued meeting and doing our thing for about two and a half months, until things got messy.
I don't really know what had happened next, maybe it was love?
Love can really mess you up, huh?
Sam and I started fighting, a lot. About the most idiotic things any person could think about. And then...I guess Sam just got sick of it. Of me lying to myself, of me pretending that I didn't know what was going on between us.
So, she texted me one night, saying that she wants nothing to do with me and that I ruined her.
'I ruined her?! Is she serious?' was what went through my head in that exact moment. I broke down crying like a little heartbroken teenage girl, memories from my past friendships flashing in my mind. But then, after a few weeks, I understood why Sam had done what she did. I really did drive the both of us insane. I was so unsure of myself that it made her just give up on me.
I'm not saying what she did was okay or vindicated, because if I was in her place I'd fight for what I love and who I love, not just give it up so quickly. But, that's the thing about me I guess. I really would do a lot of things differently than others. Not that I'm saying that I'm some perfect, role-model of a person that always knows what to do and how to do it, I just have an incredible amount of emotional intelligence that not many people have which allows me to see things in a different light.
I lost a lot of people in my life. And although I didn't exactly know what was going on between Sam and I, I loved where we were, our jokes, our same taste of music even; just those little things.
I became really sad after what Sam did, I felt so unimportant and unloved since Sam always made me feel like I was the most beautiful person ever made. That was my favorite thing about her, her technique to make the person in front of her feel like they were glowing 24/7.
"Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own." -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
I really do believe in this quote because at one point, I really didn't care about my own happiness. I just wanted Sam to be happy. Even if it meant lying to myself.
Never do that, never make someone else believe that your lie is their truth.
Sam and I kept talking after that text she sent me because, it was very hard for me to accept what she did, so I just kept writing her like nothing was wrong, a bit in denial.
Eventually, I had to let Sam go. It was extremly hard but, whoever knows me, knows that I never let myself suffer for too long.
The message I'd like for whoever's reading this to take with him/her is that you should accept who you are. Even if it's not what you thought you'd ever be.
xx, Lylo A.